Football transfer rumours: Tottenham Hotspur’s Niko Kranjcar to QPR?


Today’s rumours are nursing bruises

Ho! Local! Yes, you! Fed up with banter? OK! Here we go!

West Ham United will spend £6m on Rangers striker Nikica Jelavic.

QPR will bid £3m for Tottenham’s Niko Kranjcar.

Stoke City defender Danny Collins will replace Gary Cahill at Bolton Wanderers.

West Bromwich Albion have a £9m treasure chest, and they will empty it out for Cardiff City midfielder Peter Whittingham and Bristol City’s Nicky Maynard.

Manchester United youngster Ravel Morrison will join Roma in a £1m deal, but Arsenal, Chelsea and Newcastle are also interested.

Lille and Lyon are both interested in Tottenham’s Sébastien Bassong.

Stoke striker Kenwyne Jones is off to Saudi Arabian side Al Hilal for £12m.

The counter-intuitively monickered Merval Celik, a 21-year-old striker from GAIS, is about to join Rangers.

So, a life without banter isn’t actually that bad, is it?

No. Oh no.

Now, patter … patter’s another matter …

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