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Football transfer rumours: Kolo Touré to Anzhi Makhachkala?

admin — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 05:00:39 +0000

Today’s fluff senses rancour

Incredible work from today’s Mirror, which has managed to extract a rare hibernation-period transfer EXCLUSIVE: “City fear losing Touré to mega-rich Russians”. Yes, it’s the disorientating effects of the international mega-rich, this time pillaging the carefully tended talent stocks of Manchester City’s non-playing reserves for their own carbon-crazed ends. And yes, it’s Kolo not Yaya. And yes it’s Dagestan-based Roger Moore-era cartoon bond villains Anzhi Makhachkala. Plus it’s also only a loan. Albeit Anzhi, who currently represent a kind of central European friendship stop for every disillusioned multi-millionaire outcast in European football’s elite playground, would pay “a substantial loan fee”.

Owen Coyle is preparing to tie Paul Robinson, Sean Davis and Robbie Blake up in a coarse hemp sack and leave them mewling on the steps of the local cat rescue home. The Mill smells pre-emptive wage bill trimming ahead of the summer. Stephen Dobbie, who also played Mark’s on-off girlfriend in Peep show, has “begged” Brendan Rodgers to let him leave Swansea. And Steve Kean will seek legal advice over Christopher Samba not wanting to play for Blackburn any more and “effectively going on strike” in January. “I’m not a legal expert,” Kean admitted yesterday, no doubt to howls of enraged disappointment from Blackburn fans who will now demand he be replaced by a leading QC.

In the Daily Mail there’s some talk of Cristiano Ronaldo “putting the Premier League on red alert” by being unsettled and sulky and snarlingly dissatisfied with life. In which case, the Mill can only pity the Premier League an existence blighted by the near-constant bleeping of its Ronaldo red alert klaxon at each fresh whimper and hissy-fit. Ronaldo is apparently “considering a stunning return to the Premier League after growling [sic] disillusioned with life at Real Madrid.”

Sadly the Mill fears “whining” might be more appropriate, even if growling would be an interesting departure. As the Mail points out City would be a favoured destination. The Mill can already hear the gloating, the booing, the acrimony, the furore over ill-conceived poster campaigns.

Madrid, Cristiano! Stay in Madrid. Warm weather! Nice food!

Someone else has blurted something out on Twitter. This time around it’s Aston Villa’s itinerant scurrying wing disappointment Charles N’Zogbia complaining about being subbed against Newcastle.

“The France international, who was returning to play in front of his former club at St James’ Park, was furious after being substituted for Emile Heskey with one quarter of the game still to play”.

Which also seems like a slightly gratuitous and undeserved slur on Heskey, who’s just doing his job and always gives you 2,000% and even at the age of 47 can still induce a brief yawn of panic in even the least-drilled defence.

“‘For the first time in my life I’m not happy playing football,” N’Zogbia concluded. Really? But … Er … Oh never mind.

In slightly less turgid news Daniele De Rossi has “ignored” Chelsea and Manchester United and signed a five-year contract extension at Roma instead. This is perhaps unfair on De Rossi, who may have simply considered but then decided against Chelsea and Manchester United, or thought of them fondly for a moment, as a man might consider wistfully a favourite ex-girlfriend, or briefly ponder the charms of Debbie from work who always seems so friendly, even as he’s trudging dutifully down the carpeted central aisle of the register office. It means that De Rossi, who is 28, will probably not come and play in the Premier League after all, or if he does it will only be for some briefly rich minor power intent on handing out last paydays to fading stars, in the manner of mid-1990s Middlesbrough.

According to today’s Sun Carlos Tevez has become a “payroll pariah”, unfairly marginalised in elite footballing society by his own risibly disproportionate, fiercely-wheedled, voraciously-hoovered up, hand-cupped-to-the-ear-induced, itinerantly-hiked, cynically-prioritised weekly wages.

“PSG technical director Leonardo last night revealed moneybags PSG could have signed Tevez but were not prepared to pay his £10million-a-year wages.”

The Mill is distraught. If only there were some way around this situation.

Some middle ground, like taking a de facto negligible pay-cut on his already excessive earnings. Or just saying sorry to his manager. But obviously both of those are impossible so “payroll pariah” it is. Poor, poor Carlos.

Meanwhile likable waddling goal-divinity Robbie Fowler is still waiting with bated sort code for further news on his possible move to Howrah Calcutta of the Indian Premier League. “I get a few texts about what is happening but other than that I couldn’t tell you,” Fowler said, struggling manfully to contain his excitement and, on balance, just about managing it.

Barney Ronay

Football transfer rumours: José Mourinho to Chelsea?

admin — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 05:01:25 +0000

Today’s fluff has little resolve

The month of February is to transfer rumours what new year’s resolutions are to the rest of us. A period of big ideas that starts with a resolve to make things dramatically better at the first available opportunity, followed by the realisation of how much work that actually entails, which leads to whatever crazy schemes were bouncing around quickly descending into some half-baked idea involving a short-term loan deal for Yakubu, a plan to run a 10k at some unspecified point later in the year in preparation for next year’s marathon, and a decision that three of your five-a-day is probably good enough to attain a level of health you would be content with.

But things are different down Stamford Bridge way. They have bigger plans afoot there after José Mourinho only went and said he would like to return to Chelsea as manager. Yep. That’s right. You saw it regurgitated here first. But what about his tempestuous relationship with Roman Abramovich, you may be wondering? Well fear not because one of his “closest confidantes” has told the Sun: “He would say: ‘Roman, you are the owner and I am the boss here. Let’s work together and the power is in our hands.’ For José that would be the perfect partnership.” This seems odd because that was the exact same partnership the last time out when Mourinho, as boss, learned that the power was very much in the hands of the owner, Roman Abramovich.

Of course there is the other (small) problem that Chelsea already have a manager in André Villas-Boas, someone who was bandied about as “the new special one” last summer on account of having learned his trade under the original “special one”, Mourinho, so bringing back the old “special one” doesn’t actually sound that enticing unless of course the “new special” one isn’t all that special and it was just made up for a cheap soundbite, but that doesn’t sound like something the media would do.

And Mourinho may not be the only Madridista pitching up in west London in the summer. Real Madrid hope to off-load Gonzalo Higuaín to Chelsea which will free up room for an audacious move for Higuaín’s Argentina team-mate and Manchester restaurant lover Sergio Agüero. Manchester City may yet have something to say about that particular deal, but may be distracted by trying to tie up a move for everyone’s favourite Belgian (apart from Poirot, Tintin and Jean-Claude Van Damme) Eden Hazard, with Roberto Mancini calling the 21-year-old an “enormous talent”. Mancini will have to bash heads with Chelsea to get his hands on Hazard. The Blues have gone to watch him play for Lille 20 times and figure this commitment will be enough to swing the deal in their favour. Or land them with a stalking charge. Either, or.

Elsewhere Juventus are planning a shock move for Luiz Suárez. The Old Lady want the Liverpool striker to replace their Old Man, Alessandro Del Piero, who will leave the club in the summer. Liverpool want to keep their South American quota up and are eyeing a move for Udinese’s Chile midfielder Mauricio Isla. They reckon £12m in hard cash will persuade the Italians to sell.

Manchester United are smitten with Basel 20-year-old pop sensation Xherdan Shaqiri. Sir Alex Ferguson has kitted his bedroom, lunchbox and school bag with pictures of Shaqiri, but may still face competition for his signature from Zenit St Petersburg.

North London must be a lovely place as Arsenal’s favourite substitute Andrey Arshavin will turn down a move to Anzhi Makhachkala because he wants to stay at the Emirates, while a few miles away Heurelho Gomes has decided he would rather sit on the bench at Tottenham than move to CSKA Moscow.

Oh, and Carlos Tevez is wanted by Anzhi Makhachkala who have three more weeks of their transfer window remaining, because Russia don’t play by the rules. But we all know that this particular saga has about as much chance of ending soon as any of the rest of us have of seeing through any resolutions, other than the short-term loan deal for the Yak, obviously.

Evan Fanning

Football transfer rumours: Tottenham and Fulham after Hugo Rodallega?

admin — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 05:01:13 +0000

Today’s fluff has two more sleeps

After reading what Jason Roberts posted about England’s captain John Terry on Twitter on Wednesday, comments that were freely available for the entire world to read as soon as the Reading striker sent them, the Sun has put their top man on the job and decided that ctrl ceeing and veeing the tweets and putting them on their back page counts as an “exclusive”. Despite every other paper carrying the exact same comments on their back page, largely because you didn’t have to speak to Roberts directly, you just needed an internet connection. Well done chaps, top scoop! Another proud day for journalism! Pulitzers all round please! Anyway, Roberts reckons Fabio Capello can’t take Terry to Euro 2012. Something about how his trademark lack of pace will leave him exposed to the best the continent has to offer.

MILL EXCLUSIVE! It is cold outside. Wrap up warm.

Andrey Arshavin has no intention of going to rich man’s plaything Anzhi Makhachkala. “Andrey doesn’t think it is time to go back yet,” his agent told Goal.com. “He still feels he has a lot to do at Arsenal.” That sounds ominous. What more can Arshavin do at the Emirates? Run over Arsène Wenger in the carpark? Break Robin van Persie’s leg in training? Accidentally change the club’s name to Tottenham II? Having stoically refused to do any business during the transfer window – and look how well that’s worked out for them – Arsenal are now planning to make off with Racing Club’s combative midfielder Claudio Yacob. The 24-year-old Argentinian is out of contract in the summer. Apparently comparisons with Javier Mascherano are “inevitable” because both players are Argen … do tackles.

MILL EXCLUSIVE! The sky is still blue. Full report to follow shortly.

Tottenham Hotspur and Fulham still want to sign the Wigan Athletic forward Hugo Rodallega, who has scored a whopping two goals all season. But it’s all right because it’s not like he plays up front or anything.

Manchester United have decided that Nice’s £5m right-back Diacko Fofana is the perfect man to solve their midfield crisis. They’ve equipped scouts with camouflage, night-vision goggles and a surveillance van disguised as an ice-cream van so they can “watch” the 17-year-old. Manchester City haven’t signed anyone for a day, so they’ve corrected that oversight by making Costel Pantilimon’s loan deal permanent.

MILL EXCLUSIVE! Sir Alex Ferguson is a good manager. More as this develops.

Everton are going to sell João Silva this month. No, the Mill has no idea either. Otelul Galati and FC Cluj are interested.

MILL EXCLUSIVE! Breakfast is the first meal of the day. Eat up!

Fans of mushroom clouds will be left disappointed if Kuddly Ken Bates decides to appoint Roberto Di Matteo instead of Neil Warnock as the next manager of Leeds.

MILL EXCLUSIVE! Oh, journalism.

Jacob Steinberg

Football transfer rumours: Arsenal’s Robin van Persie to Barcelona?

admin — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 05:02:56 +0000

Today’s tattle wonders if there’s a bootleg Mark Chapman?

Go on, clear off. There’s nothing for the likes of you round here today. Just can’t get enough? Who do you think you are? Dave Gahan? Got your leather strides on, have you? Anyway, The Mill is closed and the window, too. Sorry, that should read: “10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. The transfer window has slammed shut.” Still, I suppose as I’m sweeping up in here there might be one or two things left over from last night. Let’s see what we can find.

Cor, Ryan Giggs, you know? Giggsy, isn’t it? Mmm? Giggsy-wiggsy? Mmm? Oh! Ryany Giggsy-wiggsy. Isn’t it? You know, marvellous … He wants a new contract at Manchester United to play on until the summer of 2013, according to the Sun. They even have a quote from Sir Alex Ferguson to back it up, one which sounds like that cheerful bloke from Wheeler Dealers after he’s kicked all four wheels and checked the exhaust for leaks: “There has been no deterioration in his play so why shouldn’t he stay?”

The Mill had to run up the road to buy the Times to find out that Barcelona did consider a last-minute offer for Manchester City’s Carlos Tevez but changed their minds. Milan and Inter refused to go to £25m so the Argentinian remains at Manchester City or, indeed, in Argentina.

Barça have instead decided to save their war chest and splurge it all on Arsenal’s Robin van Persie, says the Mirror. At Tuesday’s press conference Arsène Wenger described his forward thus: “You have national class, international class and world class, and Robin is world class.” Is international class the equivalent of club class, then, or super economy? He doesn’t say.

The “world’s greatest newspaper”, the Daily Express, reckons that Andrey Arshavin has another month of the Russian transfer window to make his bolt to Anzhi Makhachkala. In other Arsenal news Jack Wilshere’s chances of making a comeback from injury this season are looking pretty bleak, according to the Mail. The Star adds that the England midfielder “has suffered another stress fracture of his right ankle”.

Elsewhere David Beckham will cavort in his pants during Sunday’s Super Bowl, well, the ad breaks during the match. He’s set to do that bodybuilder thing where he rolls his muscles like Jodie Marsh to the Animals’ Don’t Let Me Be Misunderstood. In unrelated Beatles news it is still to be confirmed whether the Animals’ Eric Burdon is the Egg Man of I Am the Walrus but the evidence is pretty compelling. Back to Beckham, and the Sun says: “Goldenballs looks mean and moody as he poses in tight white trunk briefs. He shows off his tattoos and ripped body.” The author then goes off in search of smelling salts.

And that’s about it. The circus has left town but never despair it will be back next week when the emergency loan market opens.

Rob Bagchi

Football transfer rumours: Hugo Rodallega to Spurs? | Barney Ronay

admin — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 05:00:08 +0000

Today’s fluff is in for a busy day

This morning’s Sun has a sensational deadline day EXCLUSIVE. “Roman Ruined” yelps the back page, over news that after spending vast amounts attempting to construct a yacht the size of Madagascar made entirely from parmesan cheese, while at the same time investing the entirety of his disgustingly vast excess profits into discovering new forms of sustainable energy to ensure the wellbeing of the species in the long term rather than simply the ability of a few very rich men to buy enormous yachts made of parmesan cheese in the very short term, Chelsea’s owner has lost his entire fortune and is retiring to Surrey to run a small news kiosk on the platform of Stoke D’Abernon train station.

In fact the Mill may have slightly misread one or two key phrases in the Sun’s report, which instead seems to centre on the fact that Roman Pavlyuchenko, who used to play for Spurs, is unlikely to play for Spurs again after “a training ground bust-up” with nice Kevin Bond.

“The Russian striker, 30, clashed with assistant boss Kevin Bond over his lack of first-team opportunities. He even hurled abuse at boss Harry Redknapp – who was not even at Sunday’s session.”

Also in the Sun QPR want to sign no-show scuttling goal-caveman Carlos Tevez, presumably as part of a steamy Hughes-Joorabchian-Tevez love triangle that they said was wrong but how can it be wrong when it feels so right. Mark Hughes has, however, failed in a bid to sign Wigan schemer Victor Moses.

David Moyes has smeared his face with rabbit dung, adopted a crawl position and is “closing in” on Nikica Jelavic of Rangers. The Croatia striker will cost £6m – and Everton expect to complete the signing today. Manchester United naughty boy Ravel Morrison is joining West Ham, he should at least be safe from temptations, hangers-on and bad people in London’s cheery East End. Liverpool are after highly rated Swedish goalkeeper Kristoffer Nordfeldt, who is out of contract at Brommapojkarna.

Fulham are hoping to sign Russian spell-check disaster Pavel Pogrebnyak. The Stuttgart striker is having a medical at Craven Cottage on Tuesday.

The Mirror says occasionally-not-bad Wigan goal ace Hugo Rodallega may be on his way to Spurs. The Colombian is refusing to sign a new contract and could be available for £4m. Steve Kean has gone off in his wedding suit to try to sign Sweden international Marcus Olsson, brother of Martin, who is out of contract at Halmstads. The Olssons could yet form a – let’s face it – slightly freaky relegation-busting twin-embryo partnership on Blackburn’s left-flank.

Bayer Leverkusen are “plotting a swoop” for lackadaisical Spurs defensive disappointment Vedran Corluka. The Croat could cost £6m. He is “disillusioned” at being left out in favour of Kyle Walker, who looks like he’s trying very hard and seems to run up and down a lot more. Bolton will try to prise Wilfried Zaha’s fingers off the Selhurst Park doorjamb by offering a “profit share” agreement full of extras and add-ons dependant on how many World Cup-winning overhead-kick hat-tricks Zaha scores in the next decade or so.

Chelsea are interested in paying £1m for Nottingham Forest striker Patrick Bamford, who is 18 and has played 17 minutes of first-team football in the league this season, but could much more profitably waste his time sitting three rows back on the Chelsea bench, occasionally going out on loan, finally getting five minutes in a Champions League dead rubber against Fenerbahce and eventually signing for Cardiff five years from now.

And there’s news that Fraizer Campbell went to watch Sunderland games “in disguise” while he was out injured. Campbell watched matches sitting with fans wearing “a cap and a hoodie to go unnoticed”. Note to Fraizer Campbell: this isn’t a “disguise”. This is simply no one recognising you.

In the Daily Mail, Spurs are planning to take their relationship with Emmanuel Adebayor to the next level by offering Manchester City £8m for the gangling hitman.

Golf’s Wayne Bridge could be on his way to Sunderland after remembering there was something he was supposed to be doing with himself, something involving feet and a ball. Defying his tactical reputation Martin O’Neil is also after silkily skilled jinking playmaker Kevin Davies. Bolton have so far rejected a £250,000 bid for the 34-year-old.

Man City are after 32-year old Roma attacking midfielder David Pizarro, who will cost an insultingly paltry £1m. And West Ham are on the verge of signing Genoa striker Ze Eduardo, a Brazilian who has been back and forwards from Santos, has yet to score in Serie A, has had some passport problems, and who has, frankly, an extremely promising sheen of weirdness about him.

Transfer window

Barney Ronay

Football transfer rumours: Carlos Tevez to Liverpool on loan? | Barry Glendenning

admin — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 05:00:13 +0000

Today’s tell-all was barred by a black bank of clouds, and the tranquil waterway leading to the uttermost ends of the earth flowed sombre under an overcast sky – seemed to lead into the heart of an immense darkness.

Having strenuously denied offering Manchester City Andy Carroll in exchange for Carlos Tevez, Liverpool officials may convene later today to decide whether or not to strenuously deny a report in this morning’s Mirror that says they may offer to take the Argentinian striker to Anfield on loan instead. With transfer deadline day looming so close on the horizon that Sky Sports News presenters Jim White and Natalie Sawyer are currently hyperventilating into brown paper bags while their seconds massage their shoulders, time is running out for City to make their scampering, snarling diva somebody else’s problem, but will be heartened by speculation in the Telegraph that West Ham are also planning an audacious but ultimately futile bid for Tevez’s services.

Bright young Swedish goalkeeping prospect Kristoffer Nordfeldt and his Mr 15% are also on their way to the Anfield boardroom today, with Liverpool ready to sign the 22-year-old from IF Brommapojkarna, a club the Rumour Mill has never heard of before and which doesn’t sound like it lends itself to many catchy terrace ditties. On the other side of Stanley Park, David Moyes has done his warm-ups, peeled off his blue tracksuit and hunkered down on his starting blocks after “entering the race” to sign Rangers striker Nikica Jelavic. West Ham have bid £7m for the Croatia international, but cash-strapped Rangers are holding out for £8m.

Lille winger and Rumour Mill staple Eden Hazard has told French TV station Canal Plus that he’s staying put for the rest of the season, but will be heading to play in the Premier League next summer. With Manchesters United and City, Arsenal and Chelsea all interested in signing him up, the Belgian international will hopefully surprise us all by inking a deal with Sunderland instead. Meanwhile in Spain, radio station Cadena Ser have reported that Manchester United are hopeful of taking Benfica’s Spanish midfielder Javier García to Old Trafford before the transfer window slams shut tomorrow.

Samba Diakité’s days as a Nancy boy look numbered, after the Ligue 1 club gave him permission to complete a loan move to Queens Park Rangers, with a view to staying on at Loftus Road if the club avoids relegation. A Mali defensive midfielder currently representing his country at the Africa Cup of Nations, Diakité was excused from the tournament for long enough to jet in to London and finalise the deal. QPR boss Mark Hughes will now focus his efforts on bringing Spurs centre-half Sébastien Bassong and Wigan striker Hugo Rodallega to west London. Hughes is also reported to be inquiring about the possibility of bringing Bayer Leverkusen midfielder Michael Ballack back to the Premier League.

Flicking through the pages of Valencia daily Superdeporte over its morning coffee, the Rumour Mill couldn’t help but notice the names of West Ham and Birmingham City battering rams John Carew and Nikola Zigic being linked with local La Liga side Levante, whose fans are in for a treat.

Sochaux attacking midfielder Marvin Martin has said he’s open to all offers, but hinted that he’d be particularly open to an offer from the incredibly rich owners of Paris Saint-Germain. “I’m open to all offers; I lived in Paris when I was little, I was a supporter of PSG,” he hinted with sledgehammer subtlety. Whether or not PSG’s feelings for Martin are mutual remain unknown, but the Parisian club are ready to go toe-to-toe with Tottenham Hotspur in the battle to sign Brazil and Internacional striker Leandro Damião to Europe.

Having spent the past few weeks saying he wouldn’t be bringing any new defenders to the Emirates, Arsène Wenger has become so exasperated by his side’s shoddy defending that he’s going to splurge £2m on 25-year-old Watford utility stopper Adrian Mariappa, who can play at centre-half or right-back.

The future of Bolton legend Kevin Davies will be decided today or tomorrow, with the striker being hotly tipped for a move to Sunderland, despite his manager Owen Coyle’s insistence that he remains part of his plans at the Reebok Stadium. Coyle is also preparing a £5m bid for Wilfried Zaha, one of several young Crystal Palace tyros to have caught the eye this season.

And Celtic manager Neil Lennon has revealed that Trabzonspor striker Pawel Brozek is heading to the club on loan for the rest of the season. “He’s a goalscorer and he’ll hopefully give the squad a bit of a jag,” Lennon told BBC Radio Scotland, conjuring up images of the Polish international pitching up at Celtic Park and presenting his new team-mates with the passenger door or front bumper of an XK Portfolio coupe.

Barry Glendenning

Football transfer rumours: Paul Pogba and Willian to Chelsea?

admin — Sat, 28 Jan 2012 05:01:02 +0000

Today’s rumours are happy to go along with the charade

If there’s one thing Chelsea love it is taking on Manchester United in a battle for an up-and-coming defensive midfielder who may or may not become the man who claims “the Claude Makelele role” as his own. They love it. Can’t get enough of it. Who will ever forget the lengthy, exhilarating battle for Mikel John Obi ? Anyone? Well that was such a spectacularly successful use of money that they are now set take on Sir Alex Ferguson for his teenage French enforcer Paul Pogba.

The 18-year-old is out of contract in the summer, has refused to sign a new deal and can leave for nowt once it expires but that’s not good enough for André Villas-Boas who wants to fling £3m in the direction of Old Trafford and make off with Pogba right this minute. Juventus are Milan are also loitering like a couple of Cuban-heeled thugs in a motorway underpass

Chelsea are also after Shakhtar Donetsk’s king of the popular music hit parade Willian but have been told by the Ukrainians that they will have to fork out £25m for the 23-year-old who, as far as we can tell, is something to do with Cheryl Cole.

Chris Samba, who is 27, has told Blackburn, via the Sun, that he wants “a divorce” as he is not prepared to give 100% for the club if they force him to stay. Of course, Samba is overlooking the fact that Blackburn, like so many others, may be perfectly happy to stay in a loveless marriage for the sake of the children or to avoid being the subject of tittering gossip from the rest of society. Samba may not be 100% committed but he can still host an early-evening drinks soiree where everyone pretends they are interested in theatre while casually trotting up front in the dying moments of a relegation six-pointer to see if a Paul Robinson punt can somehow land on his less than 100% committed bonce and bounce into the path of David Goodwillie who will scramble home for an equaliser. Or else they could sell him to QPR, whose manager Mark Hughes is peering in a window at Ewood Park repeatedly shouting “seven million” and pointing at Samba.

Hughes is also tracking Wigan Athletic’s Victor Moses with the player’s agent saying: “The manager likes him but it’s up to them to make an offer,” which is pretty much how most transfers begin.

The Duchess of Cornwall has been visiting the Emirates but Arsène Wenger is not thought to be keen on a move, but they said that about Thierry Henry, didn’t they? Plus, if Andrey Arshavin keeps going in the direction he’s headed then she may not seem like such a bad option.

Matthew Upson is unhappy at Stoke just six months after arriving (insert five months longer than any normal person joke here) and is said to be “mulling over his options”, which include leaving by train or car or perhaps on some sort of sponsored walk.

Fulham striker Andy “Andrew” Johnson is wanted by Rubin Kazan and Galatasaray but Fifa rules insist you can only play for one club at a time so he’ll have a decision to make.

Roy Hodgson fancies seeing the Russia striker Pavel Pogrebnyak alienated up front at The Hawthorns and hopes to tie up a loan deal from Stuttgart, while the show goes on at White Hart Lane as Tottenham are in talks with São Paulo over Brazil Under-20 defender Bruno Uvini.

Newcastle want Burnley’s Jay Rodriguez and “Watford ace Adrian Mariappa”, if “Watford ace” is not an oxymoron.

Transfer window

Evan Fanning

Football transfer rumours: Chelsea to sign Porto’s Hulk?

admin — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 05:00:45 +0000

Today’s fluff was fashionably early

The top ten, in reverse order, of Thursday’s genuinely exciting transfer rumours:

11. Chelsea have been quoted £83m for the Porto striker Hulk.

11. West Ham United have failed in a bid for the Rangers striker Nikica Jelavic.

11. The Chelsea defender Alex is off to Paris Saint-Germain.

11. Queens Park Rangers will sign the £2.5m Manchester City defender Nedum Onuoha.

11. QPR will also spend £4m on the Wigan forward Hugo Rodallega.

11. West Bromwich Albion’s left-back Joe Mattock is off to Birmingham City.

11. Birmingham City’s defender Liam Ridgewell is off to West Bromwich Albion.

11. Wigan want the Rennes striker John Verhoek.

11. And.

11. Erm.

And that’s the top of the pops! A lot of BANTER coming up in the next week or so. Hee. Just remember while you’re watching it, whose side Sky Sports face o’the window and pal o’the punters Jim White is on.

Scott Murray

Football transfer rumours: Arsène Wenger to Real Madrid?

admin — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 05:00:11 +0000

Today’s blurb has eaten too much porridge

Ah, José. Every stop he makes, he makes a new friend. But he can’t stay for long, just turn around and he’s gone again. Maybe tomorrow, he’ll want to settle down. Until tomorrow, he’ll just keep moving on (Ba-da, ba-da, ba-da, ba-da).

Yes, football’s littlest hobo seems to be on the move again, although they won’t be accompanied by the lump in the throat that his TV equivalent never fails to bring. Real Madrid have drawn up a two-man shortlist of potential replacements. Smoothly coiffed, scarf-wearing, German man-plus Joachim Löw is one of the names scrawled in Crayola on the back of an old receipt, reckons the Daily Mail EXCLUSIVELY, while the other is wilting north London spendthrift Arsène Wenger.

Quite how the denizens of the Bernabéu would react to a manager whose transfer policy seems to contradict everything Madrid have stood for over the past 15 years or so, but if the transition from Galácticos to 19yearoldprospectfromMetz-icos fails then at least they’ve had plenty of practice of late with those whistles and hankies.

Manchester City want former Barcelona vice-president Ferran Soriano and former Camp Nou technical director Txiki Begiristain to be their new chief executive and director of football. On the pitch, City are close to wrapping up a £2m deal for Israel’s Nir Biton after the midfielder sorted out his national-service-knack.

Anton Ferdinand is set to snub John Terry’s handshake offer this weekend, say the Mirror, hopefully in the time-honoured fashion of lifting the hand at the last minute and pressing his thumb to his nose before waggling his fingers. The tongue-poke and “Ner, ner, ner, ner, ner” is, of course, an optional extra.

Mark Hughes can’t wait to start spending at Loftus Road. South Africa striker Katlego Mphela of Mamelodi Sundowns and Fulham’s Clint Dempsey and Bobby Zamora will all be turning him down in the near future.

Newcastle have been told they will have to fork out £2m for Watford’s Adrian Mariappa, having had a derisory offer rejected. “I couldn’t begin to tell you how far away it was,” said Watford manager Sean Dyche. “My son’s got more in his money box,” he added, raising the intriguing question of how exactly you fit £500,000 in a child’s piggy bank.

Bolton, Swansea, Barnsley, West Ham and Sheffield United all want to borrow Raheem Sterling. Liverpool say they can’t have him.

Sunderland are keen on Bolton’s solid-pine battering ram Kevin Davies. Aston Villa will release Emile Heskey, Carlos Cuéllar, Habib Beye and Brad Guzan this summer.

Nicky Maynard has turned down the chance of four months of Premier League football, rejecting Wigan’s offer despite the Latics agreeing a fee of £2.2m for the Bristol City striker.

West Ham, having tired of their £6m pursuit of Rangers’ Nikica Jelavic, want Salomon Kalou on loan until the end of the season. Also in the Championship: Leicester will beat Sheffield Wednesday and United in the race to sign Stoke’s Ben Marshall and Doncaster have taken Peru defender Jesús Rabanal.

John Ashdown

Football transfer rumours: Frank Lampard to Paris Saint-Germain?

admin — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 05:00:08 +0000

Today’s babble is after one final pay day

Moonlit strolls along the banks of the Seine following romantic dinners for two in the Musée d’Orsay all soundtracked by cliched accordion music played by a man wearing a beret, blue and white striped shirt, and an onion necklace could soon become a staple in one Chelsea midfielder’s life if TalkSport’s reports that Carlo Ancelotti has made inquiries about bringing Frank Lampard to Paris Saint-Germain turn out to have a grain of truth in them. With his place in midfield far from secure under his current manager André Villas-Boas, Lampard has 18 months left on his contract and has already been the subject of inquiries from Manchester United and LA Galaxy, so it’s far from inconceivable that his head wouldn’t be turned by the prospect of one last big day in the French capital. In other news pertaining to Chelsea, the Ukrainian side Shakhtar Donetsk say they’ve rejected a £16.7m bid from the west London club for the Brazilian midfielder Willian.

Gus Poyet has hatched a fiendish plan to bring Michael Owen to Brighton, according to this morning’s Sun. The former England striker’s opportunities have been strictly limited at Manchester United, but quite how he’d feel about moving so far down south when his well-documented racing and bloodstock interests are based in the north-west is anyone’s guess. Both Manchester clubs are also believed to be interested in the Benfica winger Nicolás Gaitán, who has been making reassuring if unconvincing noises about how he won’t be letting talk of a lucrative move to the Premier League distract him.

Manchester United’s increasingly tight-fisted board have refused to countenance a £10m bid for the 17-year-old Dinamo Zagreb playmaker Mateo Kovacic, presumably on the grounds that it would be cheaper to coax Sir Bobby Charlton out of retirement. Tottenham and Manchester City will now go head to head in the battle to bring the young tyro to Blighty.

The Mirror reports that Liverpool have approached Real Madrid with a view to taking attacking midfielder Esteban Granero to Anfield on loan. Known as “El Pirata” (The Pirate), possibly because he says “Arrrr!” a lot and habitually plays with a parrot perched on his shoulder, the 24-year-old Spaniard has been restricted to just four appearances under José Mourinho this season and is very much for sale, but without any club having put in a concrete offer, Kenny Dalglish is hopeful of sorting out something more short-term with the Bernabéu suits. Liverpool have also denied claims by the father of the Rangers striker Nika Jelavic that they are interested in securing the scrawl of his boy, but are believed to be interested in Udinese’s Chilean versatility man Mauricio Isla.

Currently top of the Premier League player ratings awarded by readers of a website not a million miles from here, Swansea goalkeeper Michel Vorm’s consistently excellent performances have aroused interest at Manchester United and Chelsea, according to the Swansea director John van Zweden. Swans fans need not fret over the possibility of losing their Dutch keeper, as Vorm insists he has no intention of going anywhere.

Despite being temporarily confined to the dock of Southwark crown court and generally having more important things than usual to worry about in the final week of the January transfer window, Harry Redknapp wants to bring the Lazio striker Mauro Zárate to White Hart Lane. Currently on loan at Internazionale, the Argentinian has previous in England where he spent time on loan at Birmingham City, scoring four goals in 14 appearances, but failing to help them avoid relegation from the Premier League.

Sunderland want to maintain their charge towards the Champions League title by bringing Mohammed Abdellaoue to the Stadium of Light from the Bundesliga side Hannover 96. A Norwegian international striker of Moroccan descent, “Moa” has scored 13 goals in 24 starts in all competitions this season.

Newcastle have made an offer for the Watford captain Aidy Mariappa, a 25-year-old English defender of Fijian extraction who has spent his entire professional career to date at Vicarage Road. Elsewhere in the Championship, the Barnsley manager Keith Hill is hoping to bring the Stoke City midfielder Michael Tonge to Oakwell, while Reading are hoping to recruit the Blackburn striker Jason Roberts.

Barry Glendenning